Well. What a little shithead this one is. Congratulations, Taylor, for being the first twatfuck in the history of the bitchlist who has ever chosen the "I'm Going to Be a Lil' Bitch" route more times than the "I'm Going to Man Up" route when given the chance. You thought Ann Coulter was the biggest doucher alive? That's because you have not yet had the pleasure of meeting Taylor. I think if a fight broke out between an american girl doll and Taylor, the american girl doll would probably kick the shit out of this little twatface. I don't even think he was born with a proper set of balls. What a piece of douchewood.

Do you remember when you were in middle school, and there was always that creepy, weird ass looking fucker who always wore those big black UFO pants and was always picked last for pillo hockey? Yeah, well that's Taylor, except he's nearly 20 years old, not 13. It actually wouldn't be so bad, if he wasn't also such a pretentious motherfucker on top of all the aforementioned boloney. I mean, you have definitely never seen anything like this. This douchefuck thinks he is hotter than Christian Bale and Tom Brady put together. Wake up you little shit, no one is that cool, not even TUcker Max. I guarantee you my 10 year old cousin Cindy has gotten more pussy than this yahoo.

Taylor is such a vagina. He would rather go bird watching in his spare time than take bong rips. Seriously, I'm not making this shit up. Bird watching. What the fuck kind of a cat-fucker would choose sitting in a park and watching BIRDS over smoking marijuana, i do not know. There are only three kinds of people in this world who truly have the power to creep me the fuck out: inbred hicks,  people who are against marijuana, and bird watchers. The best part about all of this is that Taylor actually tries to play games with girls. Come on, ladies. Taylor is further away from pimp status than my 65 year old mail man who enjoys listening to country music and wearing cargo pants from The Gap. Seriously. When I first started talking to this guy, I thought to myself, "All right, I'm on the rebound, why not give myself an easy target to play around with until I get bored? He doesn't seem that bad. I can get over the creep weird factor." Boy, did I misjudge this one. I've been getting with guys since Joey Marks chased me around the auditorium at Lindell Elementary and tried to kiss me in the 2nd grade. I'm pretty sure I know my male equal and it is NOT this little boquet of pussyflowers. 

I remember one time, we were talking online about something inconsequential like driving long distances, when Taylor admitted to me that he cannot go for even a 3 minute drive without talking to himself aloud in the car. Immediately I thought, "What a fucking twat face". This guy is one of those douchers that you and your girlfriends pull up next to at a red light, and you see him having a full on conversation with himself while driving down the road to pick up his ice cream sunday order from Friendlys (because he's still in the 6th grade) who is too much of a vagina to be able to handle such an extreme adventure alone. I know you know what I'm talking about. You see those bags of douche all the time on the road, and you just want to unroll your window and scream out, "Hey fuckface, who the fuck are you talking to??" 

He's also one of those online creepy fucktards that will always randomly comment on one of your facebook profile pictures from forever ago, saying how hot you looked in that star wars t shirt and your ex boyfriends gross work jeans. Ew? Clearly he was sitting at his computer searching through all your facebook profile pictures, because you uploaded that shit so long ago that when it was taken britney spears was still normal and people still played with pogs and listened to the backstreet boys. There is nothing creepier than an online freak who ONLY talks to girls via the internet, but in no other setting because he has no balls. Except maybe Taylor, who is an online freak who only tallks to girls THREE YEARS YOUNGER than him via the internet. What a twat.